Safer Sex Kits: Respect Your Bodies Today by Kirsten Anderberg
Safer Sex Kits: Respect Your Bodies Today
by Kirsten Anderberg (www.kirstenanderberg.com)
Written in 2005
Everyone having sex nowadays should be familiar with safer sex practices. But really, there are few places that offer “safer sex classes,” and most of the places
that do, you will not stumble upon in the mainstream. How are people supposed to learn how to maximize their safety through proper condom usage, for instance? Certainly that class my son had in high school which had teenagers putting condoms on bananas is not enough. The instructions inside the condoms are minimalist and lacking in information. Men fumble with condom usage during sex--I think we need to talk about safer sex options with more openness and more often. This article is about safer sex. Do not read on if you do not want to hear about safer sex for all genders.
This educational book on sex from Good Vibes in San Francisco is one of the best and most thorough books on sex I have ever read and I highly recommend it to all...
When I first started dating conscientious men who brought a safer sex kit (a small pouch with lube, gloves, condoms, glyde dams, etc.) with them and knew how to use it, I was a bit freaked out. I was not sure if them coming so prepared could be interpreted as presumptuous. Or that them being so prepared and nearly professional about safer sex made them too slick. Then I dated a guy who did not have a clue. First, he never had the condom thing together and always had to run to the store last minute. Then he would buy the first ones he found. They were too big, too small, some had N-9 on them, etc. I found his ignorance about how to protect his own body and mine to be repelling. I had to tutor him in condoms, and he is the one with a penis! I realized that there is a great need for this type of education, so I implore people to encourage their lovers to come prepared with safer sex supplies, to realize that is really respectful that they come prepared. It is sexy because it is respectful. Do not let society’s mores make something very honorable into something awkward. When you prepare a safer sex kit and take it with you places you may encounter a sexual situation, you are respecting your partner, yourself, and any other sexual partners either of you may have down the road.
Thoreau said, “I lose my patience for the man who can make the mystery of sex the subject of coarse jest, yet, when you speak earnestly and seriously on the subject, is silent.” I often see people who are always joking about sex, become dead silent when we talk about safer sex, sex education, STD’s, and birth control. So where does one learn about safer sex? There are many places to get access to safer sex supplies and instructional information, but which are a bit off the beaten path. Seattle and San Francisco have been leaders in getting safer sex information out to the public in a consciously non-shameful manner. The Rubber Tree (http://www.rubbertree.org/)is a non-profit organization which started as a very small store in Seattle decades ago. It has a nice all-gender-inclusive atmosphere, with an emphasis on gay male supplies, as well as general sex supplies. It was the first place I ever saw safer sex supplies displayed in an educational mode, rather than looking like a porn shop. They have an excellent article which every person interested in safer sex should read at http://www.rubbertree.org/condom.html. The article discusses how to choose a condom, the difference between novelty and FDA-approved condoms, and the problems with natural skin condoms. It talks about the variations in latex condoms, such as shape, texture, colors, and lubrications. It tells you HOW and when to use a condom and how to properly store condomse. Rubber Tree also has a wide selection of condoms, lubes, dental dams, and keychain safer sex kit pouches you can order online.
Another place to find safer sexuality supplies is Toys in Babeland (www.babeland.com), another store that started in Seattle, Wa., and grew to a national level with stores in New York and elsewhere. Toys is an unusual store, as it does not have that trademark lecherous gross sex store vibe, but rather a fun and informational vibe. They simply want you to have better sex, and they want to talk openly with you about it. Run by two lesbians, it also has an all-gender-inclusive atmosphere, which adds to its respectful environment. Toys gives workshops on sex at its retail stores, including safer sex workshops. They also sell tons of different lubes, condoms... Another excellent source of safer sex information and supplies is Good Vibrations, based in San Francisco, Ca. (http://www.goodvibes.com). Good Vibrations sells a “Safer Sex for Lesbians” pamphlet, by C. Madansky and J. Tolentino Wood, in English or Spanish, for $1.50. Also available is their infamous The Good Vibrations Complete Guide To Sex,” by A. Semans and C. Winks, which is the best book I have ever read on sex education and technique. It is used in classrooms nationwide, and has amazing information on anatomy, physiology, and erotica, while remaining all-gender-inclusive. With clear illustrations and informative narrative, this book is a must have for anyone serious about superior sex knowledge. Good Vibrations also offers a wide supply of condom and lube samplers, so you can find out what works best for you, rather than just grabbing what is left at the 7-11 late at night. A little conscious preparation when it comes to your health and sexuality seems a reasonable investment of time and energy. Certainly having an STD, HIV, or a child, will take up much more time than the time you would have invested researching proper fitting condoms.
To find free or low-cost condoms and birth control, you can go to www.plannedparenthood.com, and they can locate their nearest office to your zip code, area code, city or state. They also have a safer sex information page at
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/sti/sex-safer.htm. Most health departments give away free condoms also. For information on how to obtain the emergency contraception pill, in English, Spanish, French or Arabic, go to http://ec.princeton.edu. Thebody.com has a wealth of information about STDs, HIV and AIDS. They have a safer sex page in English and Spanish, and have a question and answer forum where you can ask questions about STDs, etc, in English, Spanish or French. You can read past questions and answers on the site also. There is also the National STD Hotline at 1-800-227-8922.
Many people act as though being prepared for safer sex is weird. Yet I have to say I find it much sexier when a person is prepared for safer sex, as compared to relying on
fate, or me, for that all the time. The above resources are full of great suggestions for homemade safer sex kits which will protect your health, show that you respect
yourself, and show consideration for your lover. Make a safer sex kit today. Take it with you, don’t be afraid. I can tell you that after having the choice between a lover who brings
safer sex supplies with him, showing consciousness, to some guy who takes no responsibility for his own sexuality, I will opt for the first one.
“Let no man entice thee to say or do whatever is not profitable for thyself.” – Pythagoras.
Kirsten Anderberg. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint/publish, please contact Kirsten at kirstena@resist.ca.