While visiting Vancouver, especially during the 2010 Olympics, you may feel some sense of guilt regarding the thousands of poor and homeless welfare recipients that have been put on the street in order to provide accommodation for you, but rest assured: their food and housing needs are being taken care of amicably. We have provided dumpster and sidewalk space for these highly unmotivated people. You should also be comforted in the knowledge that the VPD (Vancouver Police Department) has a firm grip on the activities of these highly dangerous individuals. The VPD have been given sufficient leeway to do their jobs, unhindered by tedious legalities or the concerns of interfering foreign so-called "human rights" observers, such as the United Nations. Tear gas, rubber bullets, and sound beatings can be called upon when any of these starving beggars impede the enjoyment of those attending the Olympic gala events.

Premier Gordon Campbell will comfort and assure the safety of the highest of dignitaries from unwanted attention of the undisciplined masses.