When in Vancouver, you may want to visit one of our many historic locations. To list just a few: the University of British Columbia, the Hyatt Regency hotel, the Sinclair Centre, the U.S. Embassey, Vancouver Art Gallery, and Main and Hastings. You may be interested in the activities going on at these locations. You'll be amazed at the varying degrees and intensity of excitement and bustle of these areas, however some evidence of discontent amongst the local rabble does manifest itself in such gauche behaviour such as begging, standing about and yelling, excreting on the sidewalk, urinating on the shoes of passers-by, and expectorating by people who obviously have the AIDS malady. One should exercise caution, though, and wear one of the many stylish police body protection accouterments provided by reputable local body armour supply outlets. Being robbed at needlepoint is no way to end an otherwise delightful afternoon, but some humour can be seen in this as you dodge the hypodermics being thrown at you by some neer-do-well screaming "You're a dartboard! You're a dartboard!" and you deftly prance out of the way of these sscurrilous attempts to spoil your vacation.

You may be from a country that, at present, is suspect of having gone to war by false pretences (tut tut: we shall not mention names here, but we all know who you are), but don't fear... our population of recreational terrorists and professional demonstrators, who seldom number above 200,000 at any given gathering, only engage in mock demonstrations and really, when it comes down to it, would offer their children as slaves for your hard-earned dollars. Don't be put off by the rumors that the stench of burning flesh will be smelled for kilometers should people be made homeless by the Olympics: we have a well-trained army and police force that is capable of dealing with any serious attempts at Revolution (tut tut!).

Do not be discouraged when you see this logo prominently displayed each summer. It is a weak attempt by locals to show their displeasure at having to make room for a better class of people. They imply that they are being "anally raped" by tourist dollars, but they would voice sour grapes at any situation.